There are so many programming languages available that it can be very difficult to get to know them all well enough to pick the right one for you. On the other hand most men know what kind of woman appeals to them. So here is a handy guide for many of the popular programming languages that describes what kind of women they would be if programming languages were women.
Source: Digital Reality: Comparing Programming Languages in real life
This article is funnier if you are male and have actually suffered while programming some of these languages.